Overheard

WARNING: 'Mature' content below.

(however, as I wrote this post, it felt like very immature content)

This post contains the 'v' word. Many times. And a single use of the 'p' word. It is innocent in context, but it's still my disclaimer since this is the 'interweb' and all, Lys. We've tried to use formal anatomical names with our girls. It's how I was raised, and I suppose it's best to be consistent at home and at work in a hospital - the so called professional image I try to maintain. Plus, I guess it's just too confusing having a bunch of different names for our privates when raising kids. I'm trying to get on with this story, but I can't be anywhere near the topic of names for privates without quickly mentioning the time my brother, at the age of 2 or 3, called Beanie Weanies "beanie penises," at the table. It's now part of the Moretz lexicon, and I'm sure he won't ever live it down.

Before you judge that Adelaide didn't have a bath tonight, we were super-late in getting the girls to bed, they (and we) were exhausted and fussy, so we skipped a bath, rushed to do PJs, teeth, potty, etc. The following is the conversation between the 3 of us as I went in to give Adelaide a kiss while Ben was getting her into bed for prayers.

A: My bottom hurts.

Ben: What's wrong?

A: I think there's sand in it

Emily: Why do you have sand in your bottom

A: I think it's in my vagina too.

Emily: OK. Well why is there sand in your bottom and vagina?

A: Rebecca threw sand on my clothes today and it got in my bottom and vagina

Emily: (lifting the sheets, which by the way, seem to always contain mounds of playground contents that have been dumped from her shoes onto her bed, carpet, stuffed animals, books, everywhere during room time, and indeed finding a PILE of sand in her bed):

Adelaide!! There's sand everywhere! Honey, get up - this is a mess. We have got to clean it up. Ben, can you grab the Dustbuster?

A: Mommy it hurts.

Emily: I know Sweetie. I bet it hurts to have sand down there.

A: No Mommy - it HURTS! The Dustbuster would HURT and make my vagina so COLD! Can you just get me a wipe instead?

Ben & Emily: {uncontrollable laughter}

Ben: Adelaide, don't worry. Your mom is not going to vacuum your vagina.

Emily: We should have given her a bath